This week NW comes in a sealed plastic bag. This is because it is paired with Woman’s Day as a bonus ”2 Magazines For Just $6.95!”
But visible through the plastic is NW’s cover featuring Kim Kardashian, a photograph of her bottom and the headline: ”Kim’s Body Breakdown: ‘My Butt’s Out of Control”’.
Magwatch has not opened the bag. We fear that, once released, Kardashian’s rear – shown in tight camel-coloured slacks – will burst forth, running wild and causing untold havoc.
Dear publishers of NW and Woman’s Day, you say the bag contains two gossip journals at one bonus low price but we discern your protection of readers: with KK’s arse restrained, they may sleep safely.
Famous reports that Khloe Kardashian recently wore a faux fur coat with ”F**k Yo Fur” painted in red on the back.
Marvellously, her Twitter account was flooded with followers lambasting the killing of ”fauxs” in the name of fashion and warmth.
”How do people not know that FAUX means Fake?!?” she said. ”Come on people!”
WHO reports that Kendall Jenner, Kardashian sister, walked the catwalk for Marc Jacobs in New York recently.
”The hair and make-up today, it’s incredible,” she said. ”I’ve never had my eyebrows bleached.”
Nor has she, perhaps, worn a see-through sweater that ”bared her nipples” for couture appreciators – all in the name of fashion.
New Idea declares ”Kate’s Happy News: I’m Having a Girl!” over a photograph of the Duchess of Cambridge. The duchess’ ”oldest friend” Jessica Hay says Kate ”recently saw a psychic that her mother Carole Middletonsees, who told her they will name their next baby Diana”.
Hay says: ”Kate went home and told William and he said: ‘Actually, that’s quite a nice idea,’ and now they’ve definitely put it on the list of girl names they’re compiling, which also includes Elizabeth, because they want to pay tribute to William’s grandmother.”
Either everyone in this story is thick (Kate sees a psychic, psychic says ”Diana”, William never considered the name) or – lawks! – it isn’t true.
This story Administrator ready to work first appeared on Nanjing Night Net.